"You're Mean Mom!"

I've been told that I'm "the meanest mom ever" and after the other night I bet David would give me a blue ribbon for being the best "meanest mom."  For dinner I made a horrible salmon seasoned with the worst herbs, drizzled with honey on top, and cooked on the grilled.  Accompanying the salmon was disgusting steamed broccoli drizzled with melted butter, and covered in cheddar cheese.   The repelling broccoli side dish got even worse when Jared decided to add more butter and then dumped another heaping handful of cheese on top, so it more or less became butter and cheese with a little broccoli on the side.  Then there was the little dinner roll that had to be eaten plain with no butter.  The worst part of the whole meal though, was the fruit salad that had too many strawberries, grapes, and cantaloupe, and had such a sweet, repulsive smell that it was hard to choke down.

Once in awhile we have ice cream before bed.  This night just happened to be one of those nights, but there was one catch: Everyone had to finish their awful dinner.  All of the kids ate their dinner... except David.  This is when things started getting a little out crazy.  Jared had to lay down the law, but guess who had to enforce it?  Geez.  That's right.  Me.  I'm the "meanest mom ever."  Jared told David that not only was he not going to get any ice cream, but he was given the wonderful opportunity to finish his dinner for breakfast.  Are you picturing this in your head?  David is screaming and whining and crying.  He got sent upstairs to get his pajamas on.  He never came back down and never got his pajamas on.  He fell asleep in his bed after all the crying.

The crying and whining must have really wore this kid out because he slept for a good 12 hours that night.  He woke up refreshed and ready to go.  Then, I set a glorious plate of salmon and broccoli in front of him.  He was not happy.  He looked at it and said, "I want some cereal."  Being the mean mom that I am, I said, "No."  After saying something like, "My broccoli is melted,"  he decided that he wasn't hungry enough to eat it.  Off he went to play in the basement.

I made an incredibly appetizing meal for lunch.  Everyone loves the heavenly taste of melted cheese and scrumptious crunch of lightly toasted bread, right?  David does too.  When he saw the grilled cheese sandwiches his eyes got big with excitement.  Then I set a plate of salmon and broccoli in front of him.  The excitement quickly turned into rage.  I had to keep being "the meanest mom ever."  I sent him to his room without his lunch where he fell asleep for about two hours.

David now comes downstairs all calm and collected.  (By now it is about 4:30pm.  We had dinner the night before around 6:30 or 7pm. )  He says, "Mom, I want to eat my broccoli and salmon now."  What? Really?  I was just about to give in because I felt so sorry for him.  Okay.  He started eating his food.  Then he said, " Can I just eat the salmon?  My broccoli is melted."

I said, "Okay.  Do you want a banana?"  I mean, come on, the broccoli was pretty gross by this point.  You can tell by looking at the picture.  He took his banana happily and all was good with David again.

Do you want to know the best part?  Jared came home that evening and as we were all eating dinner together David said, "Dad, you're the best dad ever."